


I've never fallen from quite this high (falling into your ocean eyes)

by adaintywomanofmystery, aminiyard



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: AFTG Big Bang 2019, Alternate Universe - Magic, Bad Parenting, Beautiful creatures au, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, I took some of the plot and some of the world building and I threw the rest out, It sounds dark but it's fun I promise, M/M, Magic, Magic Rituals, Major Character Injury, Nature Magic, POV Alternating, Prophetic Dreams, References to all sorts of sad character backstories, Sort Of, Temporary Character Death, University Setting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-06 02:42:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adaintywomanofmystery/pseuds/adaintywomanofmystery, https://archiveofourown.org/users/aminiyard/pseuds/aminiyard
Summary: Neil Josten just wants to live life before it’s over, but a homicidal father and an overbearing, over-protective mother don’t make that easy whether or not you’re still on the run.Andrew thinks that this year will be just as boring as the last in the small town of Palmetto. It turns out he couldn’t have been more wrong. There was a curse. There was a boy. And in the end, there was a grave. The worst part is he saw it coming, but he was still too late.Very loosely based on the first Beautiful Creatures book. Many liberties were taken!





	1. Andrew

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Everyone! I can't believe it's finally here! This is my story for the AFTG Big Bang 2019. I first want to say thank you to my amazing artist, aminiyard, who made this amazing piece for the story that you should definitely go reblog on Tumblr! 
> 
> This work is not a WIP and will be updated on Monday, Wednesday, Friday until it's done (around 20 chapters)
> 
> The story is very loosely based on the Beautiful Creatures book, which I have not read fully since 2008, so it doesn't follow the story very closely, but you'll see influences from the plot and the world-building. I thought Casters were cool and also Ethan and Lena should have made better choices, then I started to wonder how Andreil would have done it, and the story was born! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> Title is from the Billie Eilish song Ocean Eyes. I listened to a lot of her music while writing this, and I think it sets the mood well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up, I'll post content warnings before each chapter, but if I missed something you want tagged, let me know on tumblr @reneeisbuffjesus
> 
> CW: Overdose mention

Falling.

Andrew is plummeting through the darkness, wind whipping at his hair and clothes.

“Andrew!”

The sudden voice catches him off guard. He sounds so familiar but Andrew can’t place from where, which in itself is a rare occurrence. The voice is coming from a boy with auburn hair and piercing blue eyes. He’s falling away from Andrew into inky, swirling darkness.

The boy reaches out towards Andrew, who reaches back. All he finds is air and dirt, which coats his hands, catching under his fingernails.

They manage to touch fingertips before the other boy falls faster, getting farther away.

Andrew doesn’t know why, but he is certain that if he doesn’t catch this mysterious boy, he’ll never forgive himself.

But he can’t catch him. He watches as auburn hair disappears into the darkness, and all he’s left with is a strange, hollow feeling and the smell of pine and cigarettes.

* * *

Andrew jerks awake, chest heaving as he gasps for air. The residual emotions are the first to fade away as he reflects upon his dream. It’s not the first time he’s had dreams like this or even this specific dream, but that makes it no less irritating. Being irritated changes nothing so he lets the feeling go as he gets up to get dressed.

He only pauses for a moment to change the dirt-covered sheets before he goes to the bathroom to scrub that last of the dream from under his fingernails.

Most Casters are thrilled about their magic. Each Caster gets a special power—on top of the ability to cast spells—which they receive from one of their parents. Andrew’s gift acts more like a curse from his now-deceased mother, who was driven mad by the same visions of the future that now plague Andrew and his twin Aaron. No matter what his cousin-turned-guardian Nicky says, Andrew sees no benefit from this power.

It’s not like the dreams ever make sense anyway. Not until it’s too late. His perfect memory captures every detail, but he has only made an accurate prediction once, right before Tilda overdosed. It would help if he tried, but judging from Aaron’s scowl every time it comes up, it’s probably just a waste of time and sanity.

This dream, which has already reappeared twice in the past week, however, seems to be particularly persistent and ominous. He has never met the boy in his vision, yet somehow he feels a strange longing whenever he thinks about him. Andrew mercilessly crushes these feelings every time they make an appearance.

Instead, he gets ready for the day like he always does, grabbing his keys and heading out to pick up Kevin from his father’s house in his impractically purchased Maserati, just like he has done almost every day of their summer off. The monotony of the break is beginning to wear Andrew down, but classes aren’t much better. Maybe Riko will try something again this year and Andrew can justify the continued effort of sticking close to Kevin to himself.

Andrew met Kevin when he was 15 years old, recently out of foster care and reunited with a long lost family he had nothing but magic and genetics in common with. After one short but rough stay with Tilda, he and Aaron were passed off briefly to their conservative Aunt and Uncle until they were finally shuffled off to live with their cousin Nicky and his husband Erik like a particularly hideous sweater being re-gifted over and over.

The Kloses lived in the irritatingly small town of Palmetto, which is where Andrew and Aaron remained for the rest of High School. Andrew was used to the feeling of being abandoned by then, but Aaron seemed to take it personally and their relationship never really recovered from the fights they had during this time.

It was here that Kevin became a nuisance, refusing to leave Andrew alone until somehow they became some approximation of friends. It helped that none of their peers at school were willing to pay much attention to either of them except when they tried to bully Kevin and ended up on the wrong side of Andrew’s knives.

When Kevin got involved with Riko and his band of thugs in their first year at the university in Columbia, Andrew had been ready to wash his hands of him, convinced this was just the way things happen. Everyone leaves him at some point, after all. It’s always just a matter of time.

But Kevin didn’t leave. He eventually came to his senses and went back to Andrew. Riko, however, didn’t take it well, making it his mission to terrorize Kevin. As the golden boy of the Caster community in this small corner of South Carolina, that was going to be a lot easier than it should have been.

They are now both going into their second year and Andrew has, partly willingly but mostly from a distinct lack of caring, become a crutch for Kevin to lean on when Riko decides to stir up trouble. Andrew has become part-time friend, part-time babysitter, and full-time shit disturber.

When Andrew picks him up, three weeks before the end of summer, Kevin is his usual ornery self, with the delightful addition of a full-on panic, caused by the approaching school year and the increased chances for Riko to find him now that they’ll both be in Columbia. Andrew has only had this much peace because Riko lives in the city in an undeserved mansion while most of the magical community seeks shelter in the anonymity of the middle of fucking nowhere.

Palmetto isn’t a particularly far drive away from the city, certainly not enough to justify living in the expensive dorms rather than commuting, but it’s just far enough away Riko has to make a concerted effort to get at them. This means he mostly terrorizes them while on campus, of course.

Kevin’s composure has slowly been deteriorating for the past month, a wax sculpture left in the sun to melt slowly, his mouth pulling at the edges and his fingers a blur of motion as he practices simple incantations and small protection wards that Andrew taught him.

Andrew is generally disinterested in most magic, but at the age of twelve when he first learned that magic existed and he wasn’t actually just prone to night terrors or bouts of psychosis, he took a special interest in one specific type of magic. There’s no one in the surrounding areas as good at warding and mental blocking than Andrew, and Kevin has always been a quick study.

Andrew bites back a sigh at Kevin’s darting glances, honking the horn of the Maserati to catch Kevin’s attention, and feeling satisfied when Kevin jumps high enough in his seat to hit his head on the ceiling before giving him a glare.

They end up at the only diner in this godforsaken small town. When they moved to the area, Nicky assured them that the quieter town would do the twins some good by getting them away from the stress of the city. Of course, the only thing the small town accomplished was being absolutely boring and full of nothing.

“Hey Andrew! Are you listening?”

Andrew’s thoughts are rudely interrupted by Kevin, who is glaring at Andrew’s ice cream sundae like it has personally offended him. Andrew is perfectly content to let Kevin drone on about their studies, or magical theory or whatever he is fixated on at the moment, but he doesn’t appreciate being required to reciprocate the interaction, which Kevin is usually happy with. It’s why they work so well.

He slowly drags his gaze up to meet Kevin’s.

“No,” is all he says before turning away and tuning out Kevin’s complaining.

* * *

Later, they’re sitting in their usual spot, sheltered in the shadow of the city’s water tower. It’s an old, rusty structure that looms over flat, empty fields for miles around. An unpopular destination for most teens, and the exact reason Kevin and Andrew end up there so often.

Kevin is practicing his practical spell casting for the upcoming year. They take regular classes during the day, but one evening a week they attend Circle meetings with other Caster students to learn the traditions and attempt to practice with their powers.

Most of them are over 19 and have therefore already Claimed their magic, but those younger have to also work on gaining control over their unruly magic. Andrew doesn’t know what’s so special about 19, just that it’s always been the age that Claiming happens.

Andrew is lying in the shade, watching the wind whip the grassy fields into a frenzy and scatter leaves across the old dirt service road that cuts through the sprawling hills. It’s the only major road running this far from the town’s center.

Suddenly the breeze picks up, violently pulling at the two boys who both turn to look around, bewildered, just as a long, black hearse speeds past them on the road. Heavily tinted windows are rolled all the way up, obscuring the passengers inside.

As soon as the strange wind builds, it fades away, the area around them looking deceptively calm once again.

Andrew and Kevin both looked at each other, Kevin openly curious, and Andrew betraying his slight curiosity with nothing more than a quirk of his eyebrow. They lie in the field until the sun starts to sink. Andrew usually draws the line when the mosquitoes start coming out.

Judging from the look on Kevin’s face, he’s realized another day ending is another day closer to Riko. He even stopped talking, which is a big sign that he’s panicking badly. As much fun as it would be to watch Kevin pass out from his hyperventilation, Andrew decides he should probably do something.

“Hey. Hey Kevin. Look at me. How many years have you known me? You trust me, yes? I said I would protect you and I don’t make promises lightly. You’ve survived this long and you’ll keep going long enough to bore everyone around you to death, but you have to breathe.”

Kevin nods, face ashen and sweaty. He takes a deep breath, and then another. His face is pale, but his hands are no longer shaking after a minute of even breathing.

“Show me that spell you were working on earlier.”

“You don’t actually care, do you.” Kevin’s retort lacks the usual bite.

“Nope,” Andrew says plainly.

“I’m going to change that. You’re going to realize you have a gift and you’re going to care one day,” Kevin says with the stubbornness and determination which he approaches most problems with. Now if only he can find his spine when Riko is around…

“Oh Kevin, I never thought you were that delusional.”

Kevin scowls before saying, “Be a stubborn ass all you like, you will learn soon that I am right.”

After that display of confidence, Kevin goes on to explain the spell in excruciating detail anyway, letting himself get caught up in the intricate details. Andrew watches the tension slowly drain from Kevin’s shoulders as he explains. Andrew nods in satisfaction before going back to zoning out.

The summer has been as brutally boring as every year so far since moving to Palmetto. Andrew has little hope that will change, but whatever. Maybe something interesting will happen this year. Andrew isn’t about to hold his breath about it though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Chapter up! This is so exciting!


	2. Neil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! Neil's POV. CW for bad parenting.

Neil steps out of the hearse onto a long gravel driveway. He can’t believe his Uncle Stuart actually drives a hearse, but that’s only one thing in a long list of ways his life is unbelievable, and he gave up truly caring a long time ago. 

A large manor looms over him from the end of the twisting gravel path, casting a long shadow in the dimming evening light. Neil clutches his duffle a little closer and follows his mother and uncle towards their childhood home.

Exhaustion pulls at the edge of his mind, but he fights it off, eyes darting from side to side as he tries to take in all of the details. He’s sure someone will jump out of the shadows to kill him at any moment, every sound making him twitch.

They’ve been traveling for 13 hours, laying a long, winding path across the USA, desperately repeating their new identities to themselves as they leave their past lives in the dust. Their last stop was a restless night in a shitty motel halfway between here and Seattle where, less than a week ago, he faced down his murderous father.

His mother assured him they would be safe here, but Neil doesn’t think he’s ever felt safe in his life and he’s not about to believe it now. He knows it’s only because of how much danger they are in after this last encounter with his father that they are here. His mother is finally desperate enough to come back to the place she swore she would never return to. 

Stuart fiddles with the door for a second before it swings inward, no key in sight. Neil starts at that. It’s been a while since he’s been in a place where it’s safe to use magic in the open. Scratch that, he’s never been in a place where it’s safe to use magic, period. Not even when he lived with his father in Baltimore was it safe. Especially not then.

He doesn’t want to think about their impending doom right now though. He just wants to sleep in all honesty.

Stuart leads Neil and his mother through a grand foyer and up a large staircase in the middle. His mother knows where she’s going when they get to the landing, so Stuart takes Neil to his new room. 

The room is larger than he’s used to, though it feels even larger from the lack of personal belongings. There is a bed, desk, and dresser, with a small rug in the middle of the floor. A large window takes up the left-hand wall, with a padded bench below it and a door in the wall adjacent to it that probably leads to a bathroom. Otherwise, the room is empty. It’s the most luxurious place Neil has stayed in almost a decade. 

He almost can’t believe this is real. He and his mother are here under the guise of Anne and Neil Josten. For once these identities aren’t a complete lie; Anne is Mary and Stuart’s cousin who happens to be currently living in England with her 19-year-old son. It was the perfect cover story for a town small enough to remember the name Mary Hatford and suspicious of random newcomers in such a small community. Visiting family members create much less attention.

For the first time in a long while, Neil is wearing his natural hair and eye colour, since they aren’t hiding this time, not really. He feels so exposed, but he’s also tired of lying. His most identifiable feature is his magic anyway, inherited from his father. He is the only Natural to be born in the past half-decade after all. As long as he can keep that hidden, they can stay here under Stuart’s protection and the town’s blissful ignorance.

Mary is convinced that Stuart can help them. While he can offer some protection, what Neil hasn’t been able to share with her is that none of this is worth it anyway. He still hasn’t told her that after their run-in with Nathan in Seattle, Lola, his father’s right hand, had caught him with a curse. It didn’t matter that their plan was almost a success, that they left Nathan powerless and half dead. They were going to use the curse to hunt him down and kill him. 

The curse is set to happen on his 19th birthday, just as he will finally be able to Claim his powers. Mary has given up so much to protect Neil, and if she finds out about this she'll bury him so far away he’ll never see the sun again. If he has less than a year left to live, though, he wants to actually try living for once. Which was why he agreed to come here in the first place. He’s going to attend the University, blending in with the students, and get his first real taste of freedom.

It’s bittersweet, knowing his expiration date, but living on the run means he’s always been living with a deadline hanging over his head. He’s taken to writing the number of days he has left on his hand as a reminder not to waste them.

It’s fitting that it’s only when he’s about to die that he realizes just how badly he wants to live. His fate was sealed the moment he inherited his father’s powers, however. There was no way Nathan was ever going to let him go.

Neil sets about unpacking his meager belongings, which takes all of ten minutes. Clothes in the dresser, only enough to fill half the drawers, toiletries in the small half bathroom, a cursed knife under his pillow, and a pack of cigarettes and a lighter on his dresser. Empty duffel under the bed.

Uncle Stuart interrupts Neil just as he finishes a final sweep of the room, identifying exits and loose floorboards. 

“Is that everything you’ve got?” He asks in his gruff voice. Neil can’t tell if he’s angry to have his house invaded or if he’s just like that. Neil’s used to reading hostile body language, especially in older men. Stuart isn’t giving any of the usual signs, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Neil maintains his distance anyway, just to be safe. 

Stuart waits awkwardly for Neil to say something, but Neil doesn’t like to answer stupid questions, so he remains silent.

“Er… right. Well, dinner will be ready soon. Come down when you’re ready.” With that, Stuart hurried away from the room.

Neil takes that as an invitation to explore the second floor, needing to understand as much as possible before he allows himself to rest. There are a number of open doors in the hallway, but when he goes to investigate, the doors slam in his face. Typical. He’s surrounded by magic for the first time in so long and it literally slams the door in his face.

It turns out you can’t pick the locks with regular picks either, as Neil discovers shortly thereafter. Mary—his mother would be furious to know he isn’t bothering to call her by her new identity—eventually comes looking for him, frowning at him when she finally discovers what he’s up to. As if she wasn’t the one who drilled these instincts into him. 

He refuses to be embarrassed about being caught snooping, but the tingle in his fingers as his magic reacts to his emotions won’t let him lie to himself. Neil’s always had an especially difficult time controlling both his temper and his magic, a fact his father was never particularly tolerant of.

The Manor has been in the family for generations, and as such has a complex network of spells cast to take care of the needs of the household. Neil’s not sure exactly who or what makes the food or cleans the house, so he steers clear of the kitchen, following his mother down the stairs to a large dining room. 

The room is large and echoey, with massive windows along the far wall. The sun has set and the dark silhouettes of trees against the nighttime blue of the sky enhances the ominous air of the house. 

Mary and Stuart sit clustered at the far end of the table with Start at the head and Mary to his right. Neil seats himself quietly across from Mary at Stuart’s left and begins to help himself to the food that is laid out. Mary and Stuart have obviously been waiting for Neil because as soon as he is seated they start eating.

Neil can feel Mary’s disapproval already, but he’s not sure what he’s done. It doesn’t usually take much to set her off, though, especially when she’s under stress. When she starts lecturing him about the rules of the house, Neil snaps. She’s been extra tough on him all day and it’s finally wearing him down.

His only excuse is he’s tired; it’s been a very long day and he doesn’t want to hear whatever it is his mother’s lecturing him about. He knows her rules and knows he’s going to break them anyway. If she had her way they would never leave the house, but Neil can’t handle the idea of being locked away. 

It starts out small. The dark sky allows the clouds to move in unseen. The rain starts in soon after, a soft pitter-patter that becomes a dull roar in the background, just slightly too quickly. Neil notices first, of course. 

He takes deep breaths. He tries counting to ten in every language he knows from years spent with tutors. He tries blocking out the voices but he can’t ignore the chorus of, “Are you listening? Do you understand?” and all the stifling rules.

All three of them jump at the first crash of thunder, and it's a few seconds before anyone reacts, then Mary’s on her feet, in front of Neil, spinning him to face her and gripping his shoulders painfully tight. He grits his teeth as she holds him, sharp nails digging in through his clothes.

“Have you not heard a single fucking thing I have said all evening? Are you that stupid? Control yourself! This is exactly what I was talking about. How can you be around others if you can’t hide your powers? I could have just let your father hunt you down, but I risked my life to protect you and this is how you’re going to repay me?”

A lump forms in Neil’s throat, self-loathing a desperate ache in his stomach. Thunder rumbles again, and Mary grips harder, shaking Neil. His head bangs into the back of the wooden seat and he uses the pain to refocus himself, desperately trying to get his powers under control. 

He wants to lash out, to hurt them like they hurt him, but he tucks the emotions away. He hates it, but he buries the feelings inside for the moment. It won’t last for long, but it should be long enough to escape. 

Outside, the thunderstorm quiets down again, the wind whipping less ferociously as Neil empties his mind of everything, the world getting a little farther away. It was a trick he learned around his father when nothing Neil could say or do would fix anything. He would just retreat from the world for a little while, put a wall up and ride out the storm.

Neil stands abruptly, pushing Mary backward from surprise. He shakes loose from her grip, informs them he will be retreating upstairs in as calm a voice as he can manage, and all but runs from the room, not looking back.

Neil storms back to his room, slamming the door, though the house makes sure not to let the door bang, leaving Neil feeling even more unsatisfied. He paces around his room, the walls feeling as though they are closing in and choking him. It doesn’t take long before the need to leave overwhelms his desire to not get in more trouble. He changes quietly into his running clothes, thankful he had taken his shoes off in his room earlier. 

The large window in his room opens over an overhanging section of the roof. Neil had quickly scouted it out earlier and determined he could use the window as an exit if needed. He hadn’t expected that need to come so soon.

Neil opens the window. The storm—_his storm_—picks up again, matching the rapid pulse of his heart. He leans his head out the window, letting the rain wash across his face. The wind pulls at his hair, and he focuses on his breathing, calming himself down. Slowly but surely, the wind begins to subside enough that he can go outside without worrying about being blown off the roof.

He eases himself out and onto the roof, confidently walking to the edge despite the rain-slicked surface and peers over the edge. His room is on the second floor, and the drop to the grass is a little too far for comfort. He scans the growing darkness, cataloging his environment with a practiced eye.

There’s a tree just close enough to the roof with an extended branch that Neil leaps onto, quickly shimmying down the tree to the ground. He’s in the backyard, facing the grove of trees that back onto this side of the house. He’s lucky, from what he saw on the way in the other side is all open space, which is terrible for sneaking out.

Quietly making his way around the side of the house, Neil sees the dining room windows. Mary is arguing with Stuart, arms gesturing sharply in front of her. Neil lets himself fade into the darkness, hitting the dirt road at a run. 

The house disappears behind him and he feels like he can breathe properly for the first time all night, his tiredness forgotten in the adrenaline of the moment. Emotions swirl around inside him as he runs, and he tries to get himself back under control as the rain pours down, masking the thumps of his feet against the ground as he pushes himself harder, running faster into the dark night.


	3. Andrew

Andrew presses the pedal of the Maserati to the floor, the engine roaring to life before fading into background noise. The tension in Andrew’s shoulders dissipates slowly as the road disappears under the tires. The long stretches of road that are empty late at night are the only thing small towns are good for in Andrew’s opinion. 

He’s out late driving again, a habit he picked up as soon as he bought this car. He knows Nicky worries more about Andrew than he does about the money, and that Aaron thinks it was a waste of Tilda’s life insurance. He doesn’t care either way. It’s vaguely satisfying to have spent that money on something so impractical. Let Tilda be useful for something in his life.

Plus, he would ever admit this out loud, but in the safety of his car he allows himself to recognize that he uses these late-night drives as a coping mechanism. He’s able to let go of the boredom, of all emotion and get lost in the twists, turns and long stretches of road and just be alone. 

Andrew also uses this time for thinking. He often goes out if he wakes up early and can’t get back to sleep. In this case, he’s avoiding sleep in the first place. It’s after midnight and he can feel the tiredness like cotton behind his eyes, but he pushes onward, getting farther and farther away.

He’s not bothered, per se, but this most recent vision is certainly out of the ordinary. He hasn’t had a different vision since it started, and the frustrating lack of detail or seeming relevance to his life is starting to pick away at him. That and the feelings that come with the dream are more intense than anything he’s felt in a while. 

It’s starting to rain again, the weather turning on a dime. There must be an unexpected storm system moving into the area because all of the weather reports have been completely wrong. Andrew doesn’t care enough to think about it, he just adjusts his speed a fraction, knowing Nicky would go into hysterics if he crashed the car and he just doesn’t want to deal with that.

The sound of the rain is nice though, as it picks up, turning into a full-on downpour. His thoughts drift into silence, and he lets the rain wash it all away. He feels like he’s in a fishbowl, all his emotions on the outside as he watches impassively from inside. It’s a pretty apt metaphor, if a little backward, with the rain hitting the windshield. He’s protected in his little bubble as the world is washed clean.

So naturally, that’s when everything goes to hell. The headlights catch on someone as they back away from the side of the road and directly into the path of Andrew’s car. He sees a flash of red in the light and for a split second thinks the crash has already happened, even as he’s slamming on the breaks and swerving to avoid the person.

By some act of good fortune, the stranger manages to get out of the way in time, falling into the grass on the side of the road while the Maserati grinds to a halt on the other side. Andrew is out of the car a second later, all of the calm he found suddenly gone. He lets himself sink into the familiar anger and uses that to sharpen his focus.

The stranger gets up from where they fell just as Andrew arrives, and shifts into a defensive position. They move to run and Andrew instinctively grabs their arm, keeping them in place. He and the stranger make eye contact and Andrew’s brain goes into overdrive.

The moment he sees those eyes he knows they will haunt him for the rest of his life. The wide-eyed, wild look. The icy blue is so new yet strangely familiar. The person is a boy, about Andrew’s age with startlingly blue eyes and drenched auburn hair. Just like the dream. Andrew doesn’t have time to process all of the realizations happening; he’ll worry about that in a moment.

The rain is cold and the wind is turning it into tiny bullets on his hands and face as the two of them stand there and stare at each other. The only sound besides the rain is their harsh breathing. Lighting cracks overhead and they both jump, the tension broken.

“What the actual fuck was that?” Andrew demands. The shock of the moment is over and the boy is starting to hyperventilate. Andrew shakes him, trying to disrupt the harsh, rapid breathing. The boy is shivering, but it’s a toss-up whether it’s from shock or just the rain. Andrew notices he’s not wearing a jacket, just a thoroughly drenched hoodie. His own leather jacket isn’t accomplishing much either, though, with how heavy the rain is.

“Sor— Sorry I… I didn’t… I thought I saw… but it wasn’t… and I didn’t mean to…”

“Shut up.” It comes out flat and monotone. Andrew just needs the guy to take a fucking breath so he can actually get something intelligible from him.

The stranger snaps his jaw shut with a tiny click. His eyes continue to dart everywhere and his breathing is still coming in gasps. With an inward sigh, Andrew resigns himself to taking care of the second panic attack of the day.

“Hey.” No response. “_Hey_.” The stranger looks up. Andrew holds his gaze steadily as the boy gets his breathing under control.

“Come on,” Andrew says, practically dragging the boy back to the Maserati. They are definitely continuing this conversation, but it’s not happening in the rain. At least the wind has eased up a little. Despite the panic, the stranger still digs his heels into the gravel.

“No, I’m fine,” He protests and Andrew shoots him a withering stare. 

“I didn’t ask,” Andrew says, tightening his grip. There is no way he’s letting this boy slip away before he gets answers.

“I’m not getting in your car. I don’t even know who you are.” What a stubborn asshole.

“Don’t be difficult. I’m not going to murder you. You were the one to jump in front of my car, so you at least owe me an explanation. In return, I’ll drive you wherever you were going.” He needs to know why the fuck this boy is showing up in his dreams. Could this be it? Was it trying to warn him about this close call? Things don’t quite line up, and Andrew gets the feeling it won’t be that easy.

“I didn’t jump,” The stranger protests, finally allowing Andrew to tow him to the haphazardly parked Maserati. The boy pauses for a moment at the door handle to the passenger side, before shrugging and getting in.

He gestures for Andrew to drive in the opposite direction he was running, and Andrew complies, shifting the car into gear and pulling back onto the road, albeit at a decidedly slower pace. He wants to draw this out, in case the boy disappears once this is over. He messes with the heater until it’s at full blast and the boy relaxes just an iota more. 

Andrew takes this opportunity to analyze the boy. Everything about this stranger seems to scream contradiction, his sudden carefree attitude a remarkable contrast to his panic from a minute ago. Andrew lets them sit in silence, curious to see what this mystery boy will do. 

What’s your name?” The stranger asks once the silence has stretched on for too long. Andrew doesn’t respond, not wanting to be the first to give something away.

“Neil,” The stranger says after another long pause, once they are settled and on the road. “My name is Neil since you haven’t bothered to ask.”

The stranger— Neil— has a hint of a British accent, with something else. It’s hard to place, but it definitely doesn’t belong in the South. 

Andrew pokes around in the cup holder for his cigarettes and lighter, watching the road but taking his hands off the wheel. It’s a long, straight road, and he enjoys tempting fate. Plus watching Neil fidget beside him makes the risk worth it.

He offers one to Neil who shakes his head but says, “go ahead,” so he shrugs and lights his own, feeling the burn chase away a bit of the chill which had nothing to do with the rain.

“Now you’re supposed to tell me your name. See this is how conversations work. Both people exchange information. You know, just in case you didn’t know.” Neil snarks at him once he realizes Andrew still isn’t going to say anything.

The little shit looks expectantly at Andrew. He merely offers a terse, “Andrew,” before taking another drag of his cigarette.

Neil sits back, seemingly content to study Andrew in the dim light of the car interior. Andrew let it happen for about five more seconds before he turns to stare at his strange companion.

“So why did you jump in front of my car?”

“I told you I didn’t jump.” Neil huddles down into his soaked sweater, suddenly tense again.

“So you said. Why don’t I believe you then?”

Neil just shrugs. “Not my problem. It was an accident whether or not you believe me.”

“So what are you doing out this late?”

“I was on a run.” That gets an eyebrow raise from Andrew, but Neil just sticks his chin out and doesn’t budge.

“In the rain at 2:30 in the morning?”

“I don’t see why you get to ask all of the questions.” There’s a fire under the wariness that Andrew can’t help but provoke. This boy is surprisingly stubborn. While most people aren’t exactly endeared to Andrew’s reserved personality, they don’t usually put up this much of a fight. They just give up on him, which is always so boring. To Andrew’s dissatisfaction, this is already much more interesting.

“Fine. When you answer one of mine I’ll answer one of yours.” Andrew says, looking at Neil expectantly.

“Sure. Why not.” Neil gives a choked-off laugh. “This can’t get any weirder than 20 questions with the stranger who almost hit me with their car then abducted me, right? To answer your question; when one wants to stay in shape there’s this thing you can do where you— ow,” Neil cuts off on the last part when Andrew jabs him in the side. 

“Stop trying to be funny, you suck at it and its a terribly obvious coping mechanism for whatever unresolved trauma you’re holding on to.” Andrew watches Neil flinch almost unnoticeably and feels grim satisfaction. Andrew can already tell the only truth he’s going to get from this boy is his reactions.

“Can you not go for the lowest possible blow? Do you do this to everyone you know?”

“Only the annoying ones.”

“Lucky me, I guess. My turn then.” 

When Andrew motions for him to speak he says, “What are you doing out so late?”

Andrew gestures to the car around him. “Driving.”

Neil glares at him, but he just shrugs. He’s not willing to give away more information than he gets. Neil seems to realize this because he doesn’t fight it, just sits back in his seat. When he opens his mouth to ask another question, Andrew beats him to it.

“No, It’s my turn again. What are you doing here?”

“Why do you want to know?” Neil asks eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“I know everyone who lives here. Except you.” Andrew narrows his eyes at Neil when he says this, challenging Neil to defend himself.

“You caught me, I guess. I didn’t know it was a crime to live here,” Neil says sarcastically.

“Are you going to be a threat?” No point in beating around the bush. 

“Why would I be a threat?”

“Every new Caster is a potential threat,” Andrew says because it’s true. He doesn’t like being surrounded by people who have abilities he doesn’t know about. His perfect memory helps, but you can’t categorize what you don’t know. At least the other benefit of small towns is that it’s easy to track the people who live there.

“How do you know I’m a Caster?” That catches Andrew off guard. He hadn’t expected to slip up so suddenly. He realizes he’s been making assumptions based on the visions, which Neil doesn’t know about. Most people probably wouldn’t have even noticed. Neil was sharper than he looked.

“Are you saying you’re not?” Andrew fires back.

“No. I just want to know what gave me away.” Neil looks more thoughtful than concerned. Andrew’s been tallying his responses since the moment he met him, and he’s not adding up.

“Nothing gave you away. Like I said, I know everyone who lives here.”

“You still sounded pretty sure,” Neil points out. 

“If you don’t like my answer, ask better questions.”

“But you didn’t tell me anything.”

“Get used to it. You don’t get secrets for free. You’re going to have to pay for them.” He doesn’t trust people, especially not jumpy rabbits who moved to town mysteriously, then throw themselves in front of cars. With his luck, he’s going to be a spy for Riko or something. Either way, he’s a problem and Andrew has the sinking feeling this isn’t the last he’s going to see of him.

When the turn off comes for the Hatford Manor comes up, Neil indicates Andrew should take it. That answers at least one unasked question. Nicky had mentioned something about visiting relatives of the reclusive Stuart Hatford at breakfast that morning, and his current suspicions have just been confirmed. 

“What were you running from?” Andrew asks suddenly. Neil looks startled for a second before narrowing his eyes. Andrew doesn’t bother to hide the hint of a smirk in his eyes at having guessed right again.

“You mean besides all of my ‘unresolved trauma’?” Andrew shoots Neil a pointed look. “Fine. I had an argument with my mom and I left to get some air.” Andrew can tell that explanation was at best a huge oversimplification, but it’s probably at least partly true.

“Was that so hard?” Andrew can’t help but taunt.

“Asshole. You think you know everything about me from one conversation? Don’t be so smug.”

“I don’t think that.”

“What?”

“I don’t know everything about you, but I will. You are a contradiction but I’ll figure you out.”

“I’m not a math problem for you to solve,” Neil said, getting out of the car and slamming the door.

“I’ll still solve you anyway,” Andrew calls back before closing the window again and driving off into the dark. Well, there was certainly a lot more to think about. Somehow he only has more questions.


	4. Neil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! First I want to say thank you for all of your comments on this fic so far! It really helps keep me motivated to keep updating my first ever multi-chaptered work. I will reply eventually!
> 
> I'm so sorry this update took so long, I very suddenly had a lot of overtime at work. I'm also still not happy with some of the earlier chapters so they are taking me longer to edit. I'm excited to get to past these chapters and move into the main part of the story soon!
> 
> I probably won't be able to keep up a regular updating schedule, but I should be back to posting with more frequency! If you want to keep getting updates, please make sure you subscribe!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me.

Neil has always understood his mother’s paranoia. A lifetime of hiding from the rest of the world, before going on the run after an ill-advised marriage would leave anyone jumpy and paranoid. But the point of moving back to this town was, as far as Neil was aware, because hiding and running weren’t working anymore. 

He was not, however, about to allow himself to get trapped in that house because of his mother's paranoia. Not if this was his last chance to actually have a life. So part of the conditions Neil made for moving to this small town, where they were supposedly “safe” under the protection of Stuart was that Neil would attend university. They had fought about it, briefly, but Mary knows just as well as he does that, unlike her, no one here would realize who he was and there wasn't much point in trying to stop him.

Mary’s paranoia keeps her in the house most of the time, worried about a thousand different things she has never been able to control, no matter how hard she has tried. She occasionally ventures out on her own for errands and little side quests that Neil has learned by now not to ask about.

While Neil enjoys the freedom, the attention he gets when driving his uncle's hearse is hard to get to used to. The other option, unfortunately, is to walk to classes in the next city. He’s tempted to run, but even he has to acknowledge his limitations. Not to mention his mother would absolutely kill him if he tried something that risky. 

He makes sure that he parks it off-campus, however, and walks the rest of the way in. Why his uncle even owns a hearse is something he can’t fathom. Neil suspects it might be to complete his reclusive, shut-in aesthetic.

Either way, it’s certainly not inconspicuous, and he doesn’t need his false identity put under more scrutiny because of his strange and reclusive uncle. It remains a reminder of how little control he has over his life.

The curvy _141_ that rests at the base of his thumb is another sort of reminder, but this one is his choice.

Neil is not particularly invested in his education or mingling with strangers. In fact, all of his instincts tell him to run the moment he sees the crowd of students in his first lecture hall, but it’s a part of life he never thought he would get to experience, and he’s more interested in this than any of his other options.

He settles in relatively easily. He learns to get lost in the crowds, and he sits at the back of all of his lectures, during which he spends half the time doodling anyway, not paying much attention. They’re all introductory courses anyway and he has no intention of declaring a major ever. He doesn’t think he’ll ever even get the chance to figure out what he would be interested in. 

He thinks he likes his math classes at least. The puzzles are interesting and they hold his attention. He also likes how definitive they are; either he’s right or he’s wrong and there’s no point in useless pandering. The answers are always there if he just tries hard enough.

The math also sort of reminds him of magic from what he remembers from his very limited magical education, which mostly revolved around defensive spells since Mary never really had time to teach him on her own. She took him and ran before his father could discover he had inherited the same powers, effectively ensuring that Neil would never have an education on that front either. 

He wouldn’t be raised a monster though. Neil has only heard bits and pieces from his mother, but he’s witnessed a few times the kind of power a Natural can wield. Neil knows his mother was worried he would turn out to be just like his father if they stayed, and no amount of education would make up for the horrors that house contained. In the end, Neil would rather not know how to use his powers at all than become anything like his father.

It’s not until the Wednesday of his first week of classes that he even has a hope this might change. Mary has left town again on one of her trips, and he doesn’t know when she will return, but it won’t be tonight. Neil is under strict orders from his mother not to linger at school. He has also been strongly encouraged against interacting with other Casters, as that might blow their cover. 

None of this was an issue until last night when he received an anonymous message with a date, time and location; an out of the way lecture hall for this evening not long after his last class. He knows what it is-knows he shouldn’t go-but for some reason he finds himself walking across campus while listing reasons he should not go. The absolute last place he should expect to remain anonymous is a Circle meeting of local Casters. Apparently the University really does have a club for everything, hidden magic no exception. 

He can hear his mother in his head, telling him to turn around, to leave. He knows he’ll draw too much attention, that he’s risking their last safe place, but his time is ticking down anyway, no matter what he does. 

He walks past the building telling himself he’s not going to go in. He backtracks. He stares at it. He moves to walk past it and stops. He pops his head in the building to make sure no one else is around and slips inside the doors. The room is on the third floor down a poorly lit hallway. It feels very clandestine. He tells himself he’s just going to peak in, see what they are doing and leave. 

By the time Neil has convinced himself to just take a look, it’s past time for the Circle meeting to start. No one else is in the hallway, so he cautiously makes his way to the door. The room is a medium sized lecture hall with a bunch of tables that have been pushed out of the way. Approximately 20 or so students linger in the cleared space, chatting amongst themselves. An older man stands at the front, trying to get their attention. 

The tables at the back of the room are undisturbed, so Neil slips inside and takes a seat in the back corner. Only the lights at the front have been turned on, so Neil is able to remain mostly inconspicuous. As long as he doesn’t draw attention to himself he will be fine. He hopes.

Thankfully most of the students seem more preoccupied with each other than with their surroundings. He’s sure the redirection spell on the door has something to do with their relaxed nature. He recognizes it from the times his mother used one while they were on the run. Neil borrows the idea for himself, casting a quick and dirty version of the same spell on his corner of the room. It won’t stop people from seeing him, but they’re much less likely to notice him in the first place.

Neil only plans on staying for a little while, just to get a sense for what actually happens at a Circle meeting. He's curious, having never attended one before. He’s already decided anything with his father doesn’t count. This already seems completely different from any of the rituals he witnessed back then anyway. It seems to mostly be instruction. The man at the front of the room goes on about different spell types and styles and Neil finds himself enraptured. An hour has passed before he knows it and the group breaks up. 

Neil stands abruptly, needing to flee before he’s caught, but the chair makes an awful screeching sound. Most of the students don’t notice or care, too busy with their own conversations. A few turn their heads, eyes narrowing in on him. 

One set of eyes, in particular, has his blood running cold. Andrew, the boy he met in the rain, is staring at him with a piercing stare, and Neil gives up trying to escape unseen. Andrew isn’t the only person to notice him, however, and a couple of students detach themselves from the main group to wander over to him. 

“Hello, I’m Matt. It’s nice to meet you!” A tall guy with spiky hair says, waving at him. Neil just stares at him without returning the greeting. Most people give up quickly when faced with his silence. There are two girls with the tall boy, but Neil’s attention is caught again by Andrew, who is also surrounded by other people, including what appears to be his reflection. None of this matters as he defiantly meets Andrew’s stare. Neil gets the feeling that if he looks away then he loses and he’s too stubborn to let that happen. 

“Hi, hello. Over here,” the tall blonde girl says, blocking his view and forcing his attention to her. Neil gives her the same silent treatment and she pouts. 

“Ugh, this one is no fun. We don’t often get new Casters to the area and of course, this one is a dud.”

“Speaking of,” the other girl cuts in. She’s built like a tank, with cropped dark hair and an attitude like she’s used to being obeyed. “I don’t recognize you.” That wasn’t a question, Neil still doesn’t say anything. Eventually she gets the hint and she huffs out an exasperated, “Are you new?”

“Obviously,” Neil retorts.

She narrows her eyes at him, and Neil feels like she’s searching his soul. And maybe she is. Who knows what any of these people are capable of? He suddenly feels so exposed, but his training kicks in and he blanks his mind just in case there are any mind readers, cursing himself for letting his guard down.

“It’s okay Dan. I’m sure he’s just a little shy. We rarely have communities this large and most Casters aren’t used to being around this many others.”

“I don’t buy it,” the intimidating blonde says again, taking a step towards Neil, who raises his chin defiantly. “We have to be careful too. Who invited you?”

“I did,” a new voice says from behind Neil. Neil hears an older man’s voice and jumps, spinning toward the new voice approaching on his left. The man is roughly the size and shape of his father and it has him freezing in place. 

“He’s our newest member, Neil Josten.”

Neil shrugs off his fear and turns to the man; “New member? I’m not staying. I just wanted a look around.”

“David Wymack, by the way. You already came here once. Why don’t you come back next week? Maybe you’ll change your mind.”

“I don’t belong here.”

“Why not? You’re a Caster, aren’t you? 

“I don’t have an ability,” Neil says in line with his rehearsed cover story. It’s a lie of course, but he can’t fake a different power and his actual ability will give them away in a heartbeat. Besides, it’s not uncommon to not have one, though many Casters without abilities are often isolated from the community. Lacking one is often seen as a sign of failure, but Neil doesn’t care. It’s probably better if they ignore him or push him away. It’s better than making him leave, which they would if they knew who he was.

“That doesn’t matter here,” Wymack says, and Neil almost wants to believe him, but his mother’s warnings are in his mind, about how easily they can turn against you, so he simply doesn’t say anything. Wymack waits for a moment before plowing ahead.

“Well, you’re welcome back at any time. My office is always open and we meet at the same time each week. We hope to see you there,” he says before nodding and moving on. 

The others look at Neil with more curiosity and maybe even a little pity, which has Neil grinding his teeth. He turns to leave and finds that sometime during the exchange Andrew had snuck up behind him, blocking his exit. Neil’s almost impressed; not many people can get the drop on him like that. A little ways behind him is one of the people Andrew was with, another irritatingly tall boy with intense green eyes that study him curiously.

“So you really don’t have magic? Kevin, you’re going to be so disappointed.” Andrew taunts. 

“I’m still a Caster,” Neil snaps because it feels important. He senses the others behind him retreat and decides he’s done for the day. The other boy with Andrew—who must be Kevin— moves forward suddenly and Neil recoils, but not quite fast enough. 

“Wait—“ Kevin starts, but cuts off when his hand makes contact with Neil’s arm. Neil turns to glare, but freezes when he sees the stunned look on Kevin’s face. 

“You’re a natural,” Kevin breathes. Neil shakes him off, backing away quickly. There is absolutely no way this guy could know that. 

Neil doesn’t stick around to find out if anyone else heard Kevin. He all but flies down the stairs, then he’s out of the door of the building and running across campus. He doesn’t slow down once before he reaches the hearse. Just gets in and peels out of the parking lot, anxiety chewing a hole in his stomach. He doesn’t know who this Kevin guy is, but he definitely needs to stay far away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. Come yell at me on Tumblr at reneeisbuffjesus.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated. Come yell at me on Tumblr at reneeisbuffjesus.


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